Before I Run

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have no idea what I want to do. I’m about to graduate and I feel like I haven’t fully taken advantage of my time at Stetson. Everyone asks me, “Now what?” and I can’t answer with confidence, because I don’t know. My last two weeks have been filled with wistful thoughts of all the things I’ve just learned and how I may never get a chance to explore these things again. I think of all the people I’ve just now discovered are great and how I’ll never get to work with them again. I wish I knew what was next. I’m so afraid that I’ll just my drive to learn and grow and just accept my inevitable boring office job. I want something to capture me before I lose my ambition. I want to find the one thing that I’m supposed to be doing. I want it to latch onto me like a rabid monkey so there’s no possible way I could ignore it. I want to find my calling, my vocation, my purpose. I want to keep challenging myself, but I’m afraid no one at home will understand. I want to try everything, but there’s no possible way I could do that either. I talked with Dr. Blum about this in my exit interview when she asked me what I was going to do next. Stetson has just left me even more confused. It's both terrifying and exciting to reach the end of my undergraduate career and realize I don't know anything. It's like I've reached the top of the mountain and discovered a whole mountain range. I can’t scale every mountain in a lifetime, but I have to figure out a destination before I get lost in a valley. I know it’ll be okay, I know I can always change my path, but I hate the ambiguity of the future. Please promise me that if you hear from me in the future and find out that I’ve settled, that you’ll remind me that it’s not what I would have wanted when I was young and full of potential. Please make sure that I actually do make it to grad school. Please make sure that I don't just disappear.

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Before I Run

G D C
I’m having an existential crisis on my futon
G D Am C
Cause I don’t know what I’ve done in my college career
G D C
And I’m not ready to move on
Em C G C G
Because I don’t know where to go from here

G C G C G
And I could scream cause it makes me crazy
G C G C G
And I could cry, but there’s no sense in tears
G D Am C
But if I lose my mind, would you save me?
Em C G C G
Because there’s no one back home who would hear

G C G C G
There are too many roads I have not wandered
G C G C G
And to travel them all would take years
G D Am C
And I’d spend a tired lifetime rambling
Em C G C G
But I’m afraid my mind would never clear

Em C D G
So hold me, lonely one
Em C D G
Before all I know will come undone
Em C D G
Find me, lonely one
Em C G C G
Take me away before I run

G D C
Will I spend all of my days wondering
G D Am C
Where I should have been and what I might have done?
G D C
Will I regret every little something?
Em C G C G
But there’s still time to change the road you’re on

G C G C G
And I could scream cause it makes me crazy
G C G C G
And I could cry, but there’s no sense in tears
G D Am C
But if I lose my mind, who will save me?
Em C G C G
Because I’m afraid I might just disappear

Em C D G
So hold me, lonely one
Em C D G
Before all I know will come undone

G C G C G
Will I spend all of my days wondering
G C G C G
Where I would have been if I weren’t here
G D Am C
There are too many roads I’ve yet to wander
Em C G C G
And to travel them all would take years

Em C D G
So hold me, lonely one
Em C D G
Before all I know will come undone
Em C D G
Find me, lonely one
Em C G C G
Take me away before I run

Em C D G
So hold me, lonely one
Em C D G
Before all I know will come undone
Em C D G
Find me, lonely one
Em C G C G
Take me away before I run

G C G G D G C G

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