I Eat What I Want

I don’t have the activist gene. I’m a generally dispassionate person, and I make a note to ignore most social problems. However, I can say that I’ve seen beautiful, brilliant women brought down by the notion that they are not perfect. What’s worse is that in my potential line of work, I’m asked to perpetuate this impossible beauty ideal. I Photoshop, I light, I angle, I airbrush, I edit, and I auto-tune away the imperfections regularly. Unfortunately, that’s where the money is, and I’m damn good at doing it.

As a child, I was lucky enough to have a window behind the scenes. I played with Photoshop instead of playing with dolls. Now, I feel morally obligated to point out how fake these women are. As my roommate explained to me, not everyone was so lucky as to understand at an early age that the poreless waifs in magazines aren’t real. I know I’m not motivated enough to be the person to run around the country exposing production secrets. That’s ridiculous. What I can do is to quietly explain how easy it is to digitally manipulate images. That’s why I our museum project in Honors 3 was about the impossible beauty ideal. That’s why I wrote this song.

I give to you an anthem, something you can shout in the face of everyone who tells you how you should feel about food. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 16 if you feel good about yourself, and dammit, you should. It’s much cheaper to buy the latest version of Adobe Creative Suite than to beat yourself up because you don’t look like a supermodel. Do what you want. Eat what you want. Feel like a rock star, and don’t let someone else’s insecurities ever bring you down.

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I Eat What I Want

Well I was born in 1988

A little baby girl, my mom thought I was great

Born on her birthday, it was a Sunday

My grandma fed me and I ate and ate and ate

We had to buy extra-large diapers

I’ve been a fat kid at heart ever since my birth

But lucky for me my mom’s insecurities

Didn’t affect me, a baby of wide girth

And now

I’ma eat what I want to, bitches

I’ma eat what I want

I don’t care how unhealthy it is

If it’s tasty and I want it, it’s gone.

I don’t want Type II Diabetes

But I won’t feel guilty eating breakfast cookies instead of my Wheaties

Life’s too awesome to worry about fat

Because I’m short, have an ass, not quite an hourglass, but damn, I like it like that.

I felt the same way about myself when I was size two

So, Momma, don’t look at me and tell me I should eat just like you

Cause if I want to eat my sandwich, and it’s past eight o’clock

You can’t stop me, it won’t phase me, if I’m hungry, I won’t listen because

I’ma eat what I want to, bitches

I’ma eat what I want

I don’t care how unhealthy it is

If it’s tasty and I want it, it’s gone.

I could obsess over weight like everybody around me

But I won’t, because I’ve seen just how unhealthy it would make me

You gotta take a step back, keep your feet on the ground

And look around, look around,

Does anyone here look like Meghan Fox?

Probably not, and you know what? She’s Photoshopped.

Get a team of professionals working on an average girl

Lighting, makeup, touchups, angles, make all the difference in the world.

So the next time you whine about the calories you ate

Chill out. You’re fine. No one cares about your weight.

So shout it:

I’ma eat what I want to, bitches

I’ma eat what I want

I don’t care how unhealthy it is

If it’s tasty and I want it, it’s gone.

I’ma eat what I want to, bitches

I’ma eat what I want

I don’t care how unhealthy it is

If it’s tasty and I want it, it’s gone.

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